First time parents make mistakes. It’s inevitable, no matter how prepared you think you are.
There were so many things I said I would never do, but in my desperate sleep deprived state I caved and did them anyway.
After living and learning, here are seven things I won’t do with baby number two.
Related Reading: Foolproof Ways You Can Afford To Be A Stay At Home Mom
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What I Won’t Do With Baby Number Two
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I won’t go back to work.
When I was pregnant with my first baby I was working as a nanny fulltime to three boys ages 3, 6, and 10, about 40-50 hours a week.
When the parents ask me how long I was thinking about taking off after the baby was born, my inexperienced overconfident self said, “I don’t see why I can’t come back the day after she’s born”. They were letting me bring her with me.
They looked at me like I was crazy and said they could give me half pay for two weeks. Which, after some thought, I accepted.
I always hoped to be a stay at home mom but I couldn’t afford not to work. Really I didn’t think it would be that bad.
I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It took two weeks for me to be able to walk without being in excutiating pain because I experienced separated pubic symphysis during birth.separated pubic symphysis during birth. Which just means that the ligaments that connect my pubic bone separated.
My angel of a mother ended up giving me money to pay my bills so I could take a third week off, but I felt like even that wasn’t enough time.
A lot of women want to go back to work after having their babies and that’s great, but I definitely recommend taking off at least 6 weeks to give your body time to heal and time to bond with your baby.
With baby number two, I will absolutely not be going back to work. My plan is to wait until I’m making enough blogging to be able to work from home.
Two great ways to make extra money so you can have a longer maternity leave or be able to stay home with your baby:
Start A Mom Blog
With all of the experiences you go through when you’re pregnant you have a wealth of information you can write about.
By sharing your experiences through blogging you’re not only helping other mothers but making money while doing it.
If you’re interested in starting a mom blog I have written a post to help get you started:
How To Start A Mom Blog <— click here to get started
Use Ebates To Earn Cashback
This is one of the things I should have done before our baby arrived. We made so many baby product purchases and if we had used Ebates we would have saved so much money that could have bought me more time at home.
Plus, more than half of the income I make with my blog comes from Ebates. So consider giving both a chance.
Ebates Sign Up <– click here to get started
I won’t bed share.
I never in a million years thought I would bed share.
But, when you’re sleep deprived and your baby will sleep through the night in bed with you as opposed to waking up every two hours in their bassinet, you’re faced with a hard decision.
For a while I caved and she became so used to it that she wouldn’t sleep in her bassinet at all.
I wanted to sleep train her, but her father and I have conflicting opinions on letting a child cry.
I compromised, and now I have a two year old who still sleeps in our bed.
I’m putting my foot down with baby number two.
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I won’t pick baby up immediately when baby cries.
I know all babies are different and mine was defintely clingier than most, but I defintely didn’t help the situation at all.
When I could, I tried to give her different toys, play music for her, sing to her, change her environment to keep her entertained.
It never worked for very long and I would end up wearing her in the baby carrier. I ended up doing that so much that she got so accustomed to it that she never wanted to be put down.
Snuggles are great, but I’m hoping baby number two is more independent and will want to be held less.
I won’t let postpartum anxiety consume me.
I’ve suffered from mild anxiety disorder and panic attacks since I was about 14.
But pregnancy empowered me. I had always wanted to be a mother, my dream was coming true. I had little to no anxiety and panic attacks and I felt confident.
Then I gave birth and postpartum anxiety hit me HARD. Knocked me right off my pedistal and dragged me through the dirt.
At the time I didn’t realize what was going on, how to ask for help, or ways I could help myself.
Since then I’ve done my research and will be prepared for baby number two.
I’ve written a post about coping with anxiety and panic attacks as a mother. If you have a history with anxiety I definitely recommend you check it out.
I won’t turn down help.
I’m a very independent person and I hate accepting help from anyone, but taking care of a newborn is exhausting and one person can only take so much.
You are not a failure for accepting help, you’re only human.
You can’t be the best mom you can be if you’re completely burnt out.
This is something I know I need to keep in mind for baby number two and you should too.
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I won’t let others opinions make me question my own intuition.
People are never more eager to share their opinions than when it comes to your child.
While I appreciate advice and consider it when it comes to making decisions, I also know that no one knows what’s best for my child more than I do.
Friends and family have valuable information to share. Listen to them, think about what they say, interpret it how you will, but always trust yourself.
I won’t set unrealistic expectations.
I completely underestimated the difficulty of taking care of a child 24/7.
As opposed to being a nanny or daycare worker, only being responsible for children for 8 hours a day and then getting to go home alone and getting a full night of interrupted sleep.
I was great at my childcare jobs, but it was not the same as having my own child at all.
I saw no reason why I would have trouble. Thinking I would be able to work, keep my house spotless, laundry and dishes always done, gourmet meals on the table and have a happy baby.
When I did have trouble doing all of those things I felt like a failure. I was defintely trying to do too much and was way to hard on myself.
With baby number two I know I’m going to try my best, but there will be days when I don’t get everything done.
Most days even, and that’s okay.
What mistakes are you hoping to avoid with your second child? Let us know in the comments below!